Only In Our Hearts...

A week ago, I was browsing the Russian database for orphans to check in on my Yana. (Something I periodically do just to make sure she is there.) Suddenly I realized...she wasn't there. 

My heart droppped.

Where was she?

What had happened to her?

I frantically kept going through the five pages of orphans from her region that fit the same perimeters as she.....nothing.

There were only two possible reasons I could come up with that would cause her to be removed from the database...adoption...or death.

Of course, my heart went to the worse case scenario and I started freaking out. I messaged my friend that I had met through Reece's Rainbow. She had close connections with the orphanage director and promised me she would find out.

A few days passed, those days feeling like years worrying about the unknown.

Then yesterday I received a response.

Our sweet Yana has been placed with a foster family!

Not knowing the specifics of this arrangement, I questioned further. Was she with a loving family that would be adopting her? Was she just placed with a family so that they could receive money for her? Is there any future in her still being adoptable if Russia was to reopen its adoptions?

The answers I received both brought me joy and pain all at once.

Yana was placed with a family whom the director of the orphange believes to be a "good family" Most likely she will not be adopted, only fostered ( I assume there is more support from the government for fosters).

And finally....she will most likely not be available for adoption even if the doors would reopen.

Initially I was sad. For the longest time I still believed that some day down the road, we would be able to pursue her. I held out to the belief that one day she would be ours.

However, we know now that only in our hearts will she be ours.

This is a joyous day though....not many Russian orphans are given the opportunity to be part of a family...especially those with special needs.

So I will celebrate through my selfish pain. I will pray that she has the life she deserves, with a family that loves her. And I will wish her joy!

I will cherish the road she led us on to bring us to our Danny, and I will continue to advocate for the others left behind!

Good luck sweet girl! You will always have a piece of my heart.



One Year Ago...

One year ago our world changed. 

We had just committed to adopt a special little girl in Russia. 

Yana...

This commitment was so fragile, just like Yana. 

I had prayed for many years for the opportunity to mother a special little one from afar. 

Even after we committed, I found myself holding my breath. I had been told the road to international adoption was hard and often filled with many trials. 

The biggest one took place on December 28th, 2012, just two weeks following our commitment to her. President Putin signed into law the American adoption ban. 

 So many hearts broke at the thought of so many little ones left waiting for families that would never come. 

Yana still has a large piece of my heart. Even as I snuggle my little Danny, I think of her waiting to be loved. 

I do not know what the future holds. I do know that I will pray for this precious soul until the day I die. And if the Lord's plan has that she one day becomes a member of our family, I will leap for joy for the sweet daughter I have longed for, for so long. Oh what a homecoming that will be. 

Please continue to pray for all the little ones left behind, and for the many parents that ache for the day when they too can hold their precious treasures. 

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

We got what we asked for!

The Post You've Been Waiting For!

Remember the days when we were back in Ukraine, just Adam and I and I posted pics and updates? Well, then we came home to a busy household of five and my attention was pulled away, by three very busy little children. However, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Here is a wrap up of our last few days in Ukraine. 

November 18th was "Gotcha Day"! We got a call from our facilitator around 1:00 telling us to be out of our apartment waiting in the parking lot around 2. We then headed over to the court building where another family was having court. Adam and I waited in the car (thank goodness for tablets with movies on them) for two hours while they completed court. At around 4:30 (now remember it gets dark around 4:00 PM) we headed to the bank to "close" out our Danny's account. It is customary to gift the balance remaining in their accounts (provided by the government) to the orphanage. The director met us there and she thanked us and told us it would go to good use buying new windows for the orphanage.

We then headed to the orphanage to pick up our boy. We signed some papers, then we were allowed to observe them dressing him in his new clothes. After he was done, one of the nannies said "American boy"! 

After we left the orphanage, we headed back to Kiev. It was close to 7:00 PM at this point, and Danny quickly fell asleep in the car. It takes about two and a half hours to drive back to Kiev. When we arrived in Kiev, our facilitator took us to our new apartment. We were happy to see this apartment located in the center of town, a place called Independence Square. Only one short week following our departure from Ukraine, this square held huge protests over various political issues going on right now. It is weird to see the pictures online of everything that has been going on and know we were walking up and down that street just a short while ago. 

Anyway, it was 10:00 PM and we were starving. We packed up our boy and took a walk to see where we could find food. Ironically, there was not many options. So we ended up going to McDonalds....open 24 hours!

Danny's first McDonalds experience, he wasn't too keen on the fries, but we brought some baby food with us so he was happy. 

We then headed back to the apartment where Danny experienced his first bath (with us of course). He loved the water. It is always described by other families as being very symbolic...washing away all the orphanage smells, only to gain the true American baby smell of Johnson and Johnson's baby shampoo. 

Keep in mind it was a small tub/shower and there was not a whole lot of room for pictures, so we did the best we could. 

Then it was on to jammie time!

And finally, sleep.....at around midnight!

The next day was our medical and embassy appointments. We were able to sneak out for a latte and some "pancakes", which are really more like crepes. Here are some pictures of the square I mentioned before. 

We got our visa which meant we could leave the next morning! After the appointments, we said goodbye to our facilitator and headed to TGI Fridays! Danny slept the entire meal. 

We came back to apartment and tried to get everything ready for our flight the next day. Our goal was to be in bed by 8 since we had to be at the airport at 3 AM. We were successful at getting to bed, but had trouble sleeping. 

Danny didn't like waking so early, but we knew that him being tired meant that he would sleep on the plane more. 

At the airport waiting for our 5:55 AM flight!

Then we said "paka" to Ukraine!

Our first flight was to Frankfurt. We made it with him sleeping most of the flight. 

Waiting in Frankfurt for our next flight. 

Then it was onto LA. This flight was close to 12 hours. He did really well for almost all of the flights. Towards the last hour he got really antsy, but we survived. He was now officially an American boy by landing on US soil!

When we got to LA we had to go through customs. They were very slow at processing Danny's paperwork. Adam had to remind him that we had a connecting flight that we needed to be on. This seemed to help. After we got through customs, we were running behind. We had a long walk to our next terminal. When we got there we were informed that we had no seats. They had overbooked our final flight, and they were not sure if we would be on that plane. I was so ready to burst into tears at that point, not to mention get all crazy to the ticket counter with lack of sleep ramblings. Luckily, they found us seats; however, they were not seated together. We had to plead with some fellow travelers to let us sit together. They all agreed, praise the Lord! I love the flight from LA to Phoenix, because it is literally going up just in time for drinks to be served and then we are descending into Phoenix. 

So happy to be home!

We were greeted at our house by all of our local cousins. They all wanted to meet the newest addition. (The three of us were exhausted, but we put on our happy face!) Tessa and Nate got to finally meet their new baby brother, whom they had prayed for!

It had been a long and grueling journey, but our reward to have Danny a part of our family is priceless!

Here is our trip in video form. It is long, but then again it was a very long journey!

Welcome to our family sweet boy! 

Thanks again to everyone that made this journey possible. I stand amazed at the faithfulness of God!

Ukraine from rebturley on Vimeo.

Waiting....

We are hanging out in region as we wait for Danny's passport. While we wait, we are continuing our visits. We have had a few nannies come up to us and gesture that we are taking "Maxim" far away, and then they smile happily, Makes me feel good to see that they are happy for him, knowing he is going to a better place. One nanny was escorting us to the room we visit in. Another nanny stopped her and from what we could tell, she told that nanny that we can take him ourselves, no more need for escorting. So she handed him to us, and then left us. It is amazing what you can pick up in body language here!

 

Here are some pics from our visit. Another Reece's Rainbow family is currently visiting there future son in our same orphanage. It h's been nice having a friendly face to interact with. It can get pretty lonely here.

 Yesterday we had a few rays of sun coming through the clouds, then it was gone. It has been really cold and rainy here. I love it!

During today’s visit, I could tell Danny was really tired. He seemed very anxious to cuddle me. Since I know he has been sick, I wondered if the nannies let the children nap extra on days when they are not feeling well. I figured him sleeping in my arms was needing to help him feel better. So I ran the risk of upsetting the nannies and let him sleep. He actually woke up literally minutes before they came and got him to feed him lunch. Success! 

Love this boy!!!

We are hoping to get Danny’s passport on Monday, which would allow us to break him out of the orphanage on that day too. We will then head to Kiev. On Tuesday we will have his medical and embassy appointments and then Lord willing, we will be on a plane come Wednesday. Obviously, this is Ukraine and we know that anything can happen. But that is the plan!